Says God

Says GOD

And it came to pass that God visited the earth, and He did behold a series of billboard ads attributing to Him utterances of such banality that they would never pass His lips in a billion years. And it came to pass that God in His wrath considered a libel suit, but in the end opted simply to mount a cantankerous, self-contradictory ad campaign of His own. . . .

I never said, "Thou shalt not think."

—God

Okay, you've got multiplying down. Now let's try replenishing for a while.

—God

I don't care who started it. Just stop it.

—God

If you seek to know my ways, read a damn science book.

—God

You'd better have stopped fighting by the time I get back, or you're all grounded.

—God

Six days? Yeah, right. I'm a scientist, not a magician.

—God

If I wanted you to have seven kids, I would have given you a bigger planet.

—God

You're not tracking those bloody footprints in here.

—God

E=mc². Yeah, that's one of mine.

—God

You can have another kid when you learn to take care of the first one.

—God

The dinosaurs didn't believe in you either.

—God

Excuse me? Where do you see my name on the front of the Bible?

—God

Only six thousand years old? Oh, that's a good one.

—God

Just look at this planet! Do you expect me to clean this up?

—God

I love Marilyn Manson, too. Maybe more than I love you.

—God

Here's a clue—if they say they're doing it in my name, they're lying.

—God

I'm flattered you liked my book so much. Now why don't you read something new?

—God

I'm concerned about children's education. I favor lower child-to-parent ratios.

—God

I gave you a bigger brain for a reason. Start using it.

—God

Want to know how old the earth is? Ask the earth, not the Bible.

—God

If you don't clean this place up, you won't get another millennium.

—God

I don't blame video games when my children start shooting each other.

—God

I like to kick things off with a bang. A Big Bang.

—God

If you didn't hear it straight from my lips, take it with a grain of salt.

—God

All this will someday be your children's.

—God

There is no such thing as killing in my name.

—God

Stop smirking, America. I'm talking to you, too.

—God

Lunch With God

A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with a bag of potato chips and a six-pack of root beer and started his journey.

When he had gone about three blocks, he met an old woman. She was sitting in the park, just staring at some pigeons. The boy sat down next to her and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the old lady looked hungry, so he offered her some chips. She gratefully accepted it and smiled at him.

Her smile was so pretty that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered her a root beer. Again, she smiled at him. The boy was delighted! They sat
there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word.

As twilight approached, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave; but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the old woman, and gave her a hug. She gave him her biggest smile ever.

When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked him, "What did you do today that made you so happy?" He replied, "I had lunch with God." But before his mother could respond, he added, "You know what? She's got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen!"

Meanwhile, the old woman, also radiant with joy, returned to her home. Her son was stunned by the look of peace on her face and he asked, "Mother, what did you do today that made you so happy?" She replied! "I ate potato chips in the park with God." However, before her son responded, she added, "You know, he's much younger than I expected."

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of

which have the potential to turn a life around. People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime! Embrace all equally!

Excellence - What it means?

A gentleman was once visiting a temple under construction. In the temple premises, he saw a sculptor making an idol of God. Suddenly he saw, just a few meters away, another identical idol was lying. Surprised he asked the sculptor, "Do you need two statutes of the same idol?"… "No", said the sculptor, "We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage".

The gentleman examined the sculpture. No apparent damage was visible.
"Where is the damage? " asked the gentleman. "There is a scratch on the nose of the idol"… The gentleman asked again "Where are you going to keep the idol?".
The sculptor replied that it will be installed on a pillar 20 feet high.

"When the idol will be 20 feet away from the eyes of the beholder, who is going to know that there is scratch on the nose?", the gentleman asked.
The sculptor looked at the gentleman, smiled and said "The God knows it and I know it!!!"

The desire to excel should be exclusive of the fact whether someone appreciates it or not.

Excellence is a drive from "Inside" not "Outside".

Try to know the Truth before React

The train has started moving. It is packed with people of all ages, mostly with the working men and women and young college guys and gals.

Near the window, seated a old man with his 30 year old son. As the train moves by, the son is overwhelmed with joy as he was thrilled with the scenery outside..

"See dad, the scenery of green trees moving away is very beautiful"

This behavior from a thirty year old son made the other people feel strange about him. Every one started murmuring something or other about this son."
This guy seems to be a krack.." newly married Anup whispered to his wife.

Suddenly it started raining... Rain drops fell on the travelers through the opened window. The Thirty year old son , filled with joy " see dad, how beautiful the rain is .."

Anup's wife got irritated with the rain drops spoiling her new suit.

Anup ," cant you see its raining, you old man, if ur son is not feeling well get him soon to a mental asylum..and dont disturb public henceforth"

The old man hesitated first and then in a low tone replied " we are on the way back from hospital, my son got discharged today morning , he was a blind by birth, last week only he got his vision, these rain and nature are new to his eyes.. Please forgive us for the inconvenience caused..."

What we see may not always be right !! Hence try to know the truth before you react.

Asking the Right Question

Jack and john are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.
John replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"
So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I pray?"
The Priest says, "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
John says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."
And so John goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I pray while I smoke?"
To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son. By all means."

Moral : The reply you get depends on the question you ask.

A logical but true story

This scene took place on a British Airways flight between Johannesburg, South Africa & London.

A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man.
Very disturbed by this, she called the air hostess. 'You
obviously do not see it then?' she asked. 'You placed me next to a black man.
I did not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant
group. Give me an alternative seat.'
'Be calm please,' the hostess replied.
'Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to
see if another place is available.'
The hostess went away & then came back a few minutes later.
'Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in Economy Class.
I spoke to the captain & he informed me that there is also
no seat in Business Class. All the same, we still have one place in First Class.'
Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued.
'It is unusual for our company to permit someone from Economy
Class to sit in First Class. However, given the circumstances, the
captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting.'

She turned to the black guy & said, 'Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in First Class.'
At that moment, the other passengers, who'd been shocked by what they had just witnessed, stood up & applauded.
This is a true story. If you are against racism, please send this to all your friends; please do not delete it without sending it to at least 1 person.

WELL DONE, British Airways

Why Women Cry

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him.

"I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

God said:

"When I made the woman she had to be special.

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world,

yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry he! r husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

Good One

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy.
Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom.
I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant.
Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son, Chad

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer.
I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home!

Love Story

One day she (bird) proposed him (white rose),

but white rose refused. White rose
said I don't love you.

Bird daily came and proposed him.

Finally, white rose said when I will turn red,

I will love you.

One day bird came and
cut her wings and spread her blood

on the rose and the rose turned red..
Then the rose realized how much bird loved him

but it was too late
because bird was dead.

So respect the love and feelings of

the person who loves you.

Saying The Right Thing While Drunk

Rohit wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. > >

Rohit looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!" > >

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Rohit asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door". Confused, Rohit asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!" > >

His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, "Lady leave me alone! I'm married!" > >

Moral > >
Self-induced hangover -- Rs. 2000.00 > >
Broken furniture -- Rs. 20,000.00 > >
Breakfast -- Rs. 100.00 > >
Saying The Right Thing While Drunk - PRICELESS

आज, ना जाने क्यों ?

आज, ना जाने क्यों ?


आज, ना जाने क्यों ?
थक गया हूँ जीवन की इस दौड में
कोई राह नहीं सामने दूर तक
इन उनींदी आँखों में नया जीवन चाहता हूँ
आज मैं रोना चाहता हूँ

भय था कभी विकराल
लडकपन था नादान
माँ का असीम प्यार
पिता की डाँट और दुलार
जून की दोपहरी में, छत पर वही बिछौना चाहता हूँ
आज मै रोना चाहता हूँ

नाना‍‍ नानी की कहानियाँ
दादा दादी की परेशानियाँ
भैया दीदी की लडाईयाँ
पापा मम्मी की बलाइयाँ
बस उन्हीं लम्हों में आज फिर खोना चाहता हूँ
आज मैं रोना चाहता हूँ

साथियों के संग होली का हुडदंग
बारिश में कागज की नाव दबंग
गर्मियों में छुट्टियों के दिन
स्कूल में सीखने की उमंग
अपने अकेलेपन में, वो टूटे मोती पिरोना चाहता हूँ
आज मैं रोना चाहता हूँ

कुछ कर गुजरने की चाह
सफलता की वो कठिन राह
मुश्किलों का सामना करने की
पापा की वो सलाह
आज फिर से वही सपने संजोना चाहता हूँ
ना जाने क्यों, आज मैं रोना चाहता हूँ

शायद कुछ छोड आया पीछे
आगे बढ़ने की हौड में
पीछे रह गये सब,
मैं अकेला इस अंधी दौड में
लौटा दो कोई मेरा बचपन, पुराना खिलौना चाहता हूँ
हाँ, आज मैं रोना चाहता हूँ

नहीं जानता कि कहाँ जाना है
क्या कुछ वापस पाना है
इस जीवन में मै
टूट बिखर चुका हूँ कब से
उन्हीं सुनहरे पलों में जी भर सोना चाहता हूँ
आज मैं, ना जाने क्यों, रोना चाहता हूँ

IF U R REALLY BORED

TRY DOING THESE THINGS:

1. Form a detective agency to find out who is quitting next.

2. Make blank calls to your Boss.

3. Send mails from lotus notes (outlook) to your internet mail (and immediately get to the internet and see who reaches first, you or your mail?) and read them there, and note down the time they take to reach there. Then do vice versa.

4. Rearrange the furniture, i.e. flick someone else's chair just to irritate him/her.

5. Count your fingers (and toes if you still get bored).

6. Watch other people changing their facial expressions while working and try changing your expressions also.

7. Try to stretch status meetings as longer as possible, just by asking silly doubts.

8. Make faces at strangers in office.

9. Have a two hour lunch; it's a big social occasion.

10. Learn to whistle.

11. Revise last week's newspaper.

12. Hold "How fast my computer boots" competitions.

13. Practice aiming the coffee cup into the dustbin.

14. Compile "How to waste your day".

15. Pick up phone and dial non-existing nos.

16. Have work breaks in between tea.

17. Count maximum no of applications your computer can open at time.

18. For Win NT/95 users....Move things to Recycle bin and restore them. Then repeat this process.

19. Look at someone & try to imagine how(s) he might have looked when(s) he was 5 years old.

20. Read jokes and send jokes.

21. Make full use of the comfortable chair and table provided and take a nap.

And if you are still getting bored

22. Fwd this mail to everyone u knows why...

Once upon a Time

There was
a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She
hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always
there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see
the world, I will marry you.'

One day,
someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages
came off, she was able to see everything, including her
boyfriend.

He asked
her,'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The
girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind.. The
sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected
that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life
led her to refuse to marry him.

Her
boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her
saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before
they were yours, they were mine.'

This is
how the human brain often works when our status changes.
Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who
was always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life Is A Gift

Life Is a
Gift

Today
before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't
speak.

Before
you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone
who has nothing to eat.

Before
you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone
who's crying out to GOD for a companion.

Today
before you complain about life - Think of someone who went
too early to heaven.

Before
you complain about your children - Think of someone who
desires children but they're barren.

Before
you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or
sweep - Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before
whining about the distance you drive Think of someone who
walks the same distance with their feet.

And when
you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the
unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your
job.

But
before you think of pointing the finger or condemning
another - Remember that not one of us is without sin.

And when
depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on
your face and think: you're alive and still
around.

==========================

I PRAY
THIS MOVES AROUND THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE...

Maintain Your Integrity

A while back, there was a story about Reuben Gonzolas, who was in the final match of his first professional racquetball tournament. He was playing the perennial champion for his first shot at a victory on the pro circuit. At match point in the fifth and final game, Gonzolas made a super "kill shot" into the front corner to win the tournament. The referee called it good, and one of the linemen confirmed the shot was a winner.

But after a moment's hesitation, Gonzolas turned and declared that his shot had skipped into the wall, hitting the floor first. As a result, the serve went to his opponent, who went on to win the match.

Reuben Gonzolas walked off the court; everyone was stunned. The next issue of a leading racquetball magazine featured Gonzolas on its cover. The lead editorial searched and questioned for an explanation for the first ever occurrence on the professional racquetball circuit. Who could ever imagine it in any sport or endeavor? Here was a player with everything officially in his favor, with victory in his grasp, who disqualifies himself at match point and loses.

When asked why he did it, Gonzolas replied, "It was the only thing I could do to maintain my integrity."

Some rules cannot be followed

A lady manager of a big reputed office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into her office.

"What is your name?" was the first thing she asked the new guy.

"John," the new guy replied.

She scowled, "Look... I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority.

I refer to my employees by their last name only ... Smith, Jones, Baker ...that's all.

I am to be referred to only as Mrs. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"

The new guy sighed, "Darling............ My name is John Darling."

"Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is . . . "

Intellegent Thinking

The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.
'You are employed.' He said.' Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.'
The man replied 'But I don't have a computer, neither an email.'
I'm sorry', said the HR manager, 'If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job.'

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital.
He repeated the Operation three times, and returned home with $60.
The man realized that he can survive by this Way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.
5 years later , the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US .
He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.
He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied, 'I don't have an email'. The broker answered curiously, 'You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?!!'
The man thought for a while and replied, 'Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!'

Moral of the story:
M1 - Internet is not the solution to your life.
M2 - If you don't have internet, and you work hard, you can be a millionaire.
M3 - If you received this message by email, you are closer to being an office boy, than a millionaire. .........

Have a great day!!!

Pls Note: - Do not forward this email to me back, I'm closing all my email addresses & going to sell tomatoes!!!
Smiling after reading is not mandatory!!! !

Anger and Love has no limits

While a man was polishing his new car, his 4 yr old son picked stone & scratched lines on the side of the car.

In anger, the man took the child's hand & hit it many times, not realizing he was using a wrench.

At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures. When the child say his father.... with painful eyes he asked "Dad when will my fingers grow back?"

Man was so hurt and speechless. He went back to car and kicked it a lot of times.

Devastated by his own actions...... sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches, child had written "LOVE YOU DAD".
The next day that man committed suicide. . .

Anger and Love has no limits, so let the river of life flow in Limits so that this fresh water stream is never scattered.

::: FamOus sayings by The Great Chanakya

1) "Learn from the mistakes of others... you can't live long enough to make them all yourselves!! "
- Chanakya

2)"A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and Honest people are screwed first."
- Chanakya

3)"Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous."
Chanakya

4)"The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. It will destroy you."
- Chanakya

5)"There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth."
- Chanakya

6)" Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions - Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead."
- Chanakya

7)"As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it."
- Chanakya

8)"The world's biggest power is the youth and beauty of a woman."
- Chanakya

9)"Once you start a working on something, don't be afraid of failure and don't abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest."
- Chanakya

10)"The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a person spreads in all direction."
- Chanakya

11)"God is not present in idols. Your feelings are your god. The soul is your temple."
- Chanakya

12) "A man is great by deeds, not by birth."
- Chanakya

13) "Never make friends with people who are above or below you in status. Such friendships will never give you any happiness."
- Chanakya

14) "Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years, scold them. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends."
- Chanakya

15) "Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person."
- Chanakya

16) "Education is the best friend. An educated person is respected everywhere. Education beats the beauty and the youth."
-Chanakya

Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort

A giant ship's engine failed. The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine.

Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was young. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom.

Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed!

A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars.

"What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"

So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."

The man sent a bill that read:

Tapping with a hammer...... ......... ........ $ 2.00
Knowing where to tap.......... .......... ...... $ 9,998.00

'Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort makes all the difference.'

New Recruitment

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe.

5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kantibhai Shah.

Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.

2000 people leave the room.

Kantibhai says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'

Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave.

2000 people leave the room.

Kantibhai says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.

Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.

500 people leave the room.

Kantibhai says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave.

498 people leave the room.

Kantibhai says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'

Calmly, Kantibhai turns to the other candidate and says 'Kem Chho (How r u?)'

The other candidate answers 'Ek Dam Majama (Very Fine)'

Rearrange the Words

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

GAUTENG:
When you rearrange the letters:
GET A GUN

THE MORSE CODE:

When you rearrange the letters:

HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letter:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

Think it Over!!

Once upon a time a very strong woodcutter asked for a job in a timber merchant, and he got it. His salary was really good and so were the working conditions.. For that reason, the woodcutter was determined to do his best.

His boss gave him an axe and showed him the area where he was supposed to fell the trees. The first day, the woodcutter brought 15 trees.

"Congratulations, " the boss said, "Carry on with your work!"

Highly motivated by the words of his boss, the woodcutter tried harder the next day, but he only could bring 10 trees. The third day he tried even harder, but he was only able to bring 7 trees. Day after day he was bringing less and less trees.

"I must be losing my strength," the woodcutter thought. He went to the boss and apologized, saying that he could not understand what was going on. "When was the last time you sharpened your axe?" the boss asked.

"Sharpen?" I had no time to sharpen my axe. I have been very busy trying to cut trees...."

Most of us NEVER update our skills. We think that whatever we have learned is very much enough. But good is not good when better is expected. Sharpening our skills from time to time is the key of success.

A Nice Story-must read

The professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it.
He held it up for all to see; asked the students,' How much do you
think this glass weighs?'

'50gms!' .... '100gms!' ......'125gms' ......the students answered.

'I really don't know unless I weigh it,' said the professor,'but, my
question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few
minutes?'

'Nothing' the students said.

'Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour? ' the
professor asked.

'Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the students.

'You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?'

'Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress;
paralysis;

Have to go to hospital for sure!'ventured another student; all the
students laughed.

'Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?

'No' the students said.

Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress?'

The students were puzzled.

"What should I do then?"asked the Professor.

'Put the glass down!' said one of the students.

'Exactly!' said the professor.'

Life's problems are something like this.
Hold them for a few minutes in your head; they seem OK.

Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache.

Hold it even longer & they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything.

It's important to think of the challenges (problems) in your life,

but it is

EVEN MORE IMPORTANT to 'put them down' at the end of every day before you go to sleep.

That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh & strong & can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way.

GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL.